CONNECTED

Every time I think about you
My heart will feel so heavy
I look up at the sky and feel that you are by my side
The sky is connected to each other 
Just like my heart is connected to your heart
I feel like wanna cry whenever I think of you
Because I know I still have a long way to meet you
But I believe that I could meet you
Although it maybe impossible
I will find a way to meet you even after 100 years
I like you...I love you...
All I want is be by your side
That is the only thing I could not give up
I know that I'm here and you're there
Our land is not connected but we have the ocean that always stays connects to each other
The sky is connected...The ocean is connected....
I'm sure that we will meet each other someday
No matter how long it will take
I will never forget the feelings you gave me
I love you...

IT' S OVER

It's all over
My dream now has become past
I feel like there is nothing to do again in my life
4 years dreaming and finally I have woke up
My heart has become empty in one second
No more dream
I give up
People around me sure sees my dream like a tiny ink
I just need to forget about my dream
I'm sorry for not being able to protect you
It is all my fault
I am useless
Thank you for accompany me all this time
I need to move on my worthless life again 
I have back to my previous life
Life that with no meaning
I'm truly sorry for not being able to be with you until the last 

BROKEN HEART

Once again
My heart is broken 
My dream has turn into pieces
Because of you 
I become dead
Because of you
I sad
Because of you
I have no heart
Because of you
I become a doll
Because of you
I become stupid
Every time I need to make a force on you
Then only you have no choice to accept what I am doing
I won't regret what I am doing 
But you
Don't regret that you are who force me to take this choice

THE SMILE IS GONE ～笑顔が消えた～

My smile already disappeared from you

I can't smile in front of you again

I have forgotten since when I have stopped my smile for you

Until now

You have gave me a lot of sadness, disappointed, and turned my world into darkness

Whenever I tried to smile

I feel like something is not right

I just can't smile in front of you

When I face you

I just can feel the coldness

I have forgotten the warmness from my childhood 

I wished I could turn back the time where you gave me the warmness and brightness

Now 

There is no way for you to give me the same feelings

Maybe I should just forget about the feelings

I can't say this in front of you because I know that you won't understand the feelings I had now

If I say it out

I'm sure that once again I will fall into disappointment 

I hope you will stay like this because my smile could never returned again

My smile have disappeared in front of you

Mom

FEELINGS ～キモチ～

Just like this

I'm here from a far place

Always thinking of you 

Always smile for you

I know that it's hard to reach you

I know it maybe impossible for me

But I still want to reach your hands

The hands that full of warmness

The eyes that full of brightness and kindness

I believe that one day I could hold your hands and see your eyes closely

And continue to fall in love with you

I will always believe in myself 

That I could be by your side 

This love will live until the end of my life

My heart is always beats faster whenever I think of you

When I see your picture 

Unconsciously I smiled

I always wish

I will be the person who can let you feel the love

I'll find you...

I'll reach you...

I'll love you...

このまま
あたしがここで遠い場所から
君をいつも思って
いつも笑って
君に届けるのは難しいことを知っているのに
無理かもしれないのに
でもやっぱり君の手を感じたい
その暖かいの手
その輝いて優しいの目
あたし信じるいつかその手を掴む それに近くに君の目が見る
続ける君と恋に落ちる
いつも自分に信じる
あたしは君の側にいることができる
この恋はず生きています あたしいないの日まで
君が思ってる時　胸がどきどきする
写真を見る時
無意識にあたしは微笑んました
あたしいつも望み
あたしは君の愛を感じさせることができる人になる
探してる...
届ける...
愛してる...

THE NEXT STEP

I have told mom about the school that I would enter

That was truly a relief

I just sat at the sofa about 1 hour and think how to open my mouth

And I did it...

Although she did not said anything but I know that she is thinking about it

I am so glad that I said to her

I hope the answer will be the greatest answer for me

As long she agree,

That means I would go to the place of my dream

That really means a lot for me

After 17 years

Finally I got the meaning of life

I have go through a lot of challenges

and I feel very satisfied with it

Thank god I did not give up that time

Dream! I'm coming to you!

SPECIAL DAY

Yea... Tomorrow is the day (20/3/2014)
My SPM result will be announce
And yes, I will take my first move tomorrow
Now I'm praying so hard and wishing for tomorrow
I wonder what will happens tomorrow
Really, I put all my hopes into this 
Not for the result but for the answer for my dream
Will you believe me and let me chase my dream?
I know what am I doing 
So please be relieve, don't worry too much about me
Let me complete my dream
I need to...no, I must to complete this dream
Because I have finally know the things I need the most